Isaiah 53: 1-5
1 Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
4 Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
Easter is over. We had an amazing service. We had a tremendous communion in which we wrote out our sins on pieces of paper that were nailed to a large wooden cross. We heard some great singing by our kids and our choir. And, of course, there was the traditional egg hunt in which my children acquired more candy than they (and I) needed. I was definitely impacted by the service and I was really moved by the reminder of how Jesus died on the cross for my sin. But, to tell the brutal truth, my heart forgot the impact, shortly after I left the building. It seems that, as of late, my heart has forgotten alot of things. I remember with my brain what is right, how I should live, what my motivation should be, but with my heart...well, it seems to be like a bicycle in pit full of mud, barely slogging (is that a word??) along, making minimal progress towards the edge. I don't know what it is. I know I did good for awhile, going after my renewed vows to God at the beginning of the year, but then my faith has kind of tanked. I didn't make a decision to give up entirely, but slowly let off the accelerator until I was almost at a dead stop. Some of my old self started creeping back in and before I knew it, it felt like late 2010 all over again. Theories abound (in my own brain anyway...I have been known to psycho-over-analyze myself once in awhile) as to why I got back to square 1, but once I let God show me my heart, it was really pretty easy to pinpoint the slide. To make a really long story short, I had a dream I thought God was fulfilling, only to find out that it was a mirage. I had a passion for a dream. The dream was not to be for now and hope deferred made my heart sick.
Here's some back story....I am one of those spoiled kids who is now an adult. I grew up pretty self-focused and self-centered. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. If I didn't get, I got pretty upset. Unfortunately today, it's much the same. It's fairly reminiscent of my 3 year old daughter when she is told 'No!' (I know...we are working on that with her...) When things don't go my way, I get depressed, upset, and I tend to pout. I'm not sure how I got that way, but it must have worked for me to pout as I kid, because I still do it. But now instead of trying to manipulate my mom with my pouting, I have God to contend with. The thing is, it doesn't work on God. Like a good parent, he sees right through it. It is a good thing he does because he really doesn't let me get away with it. As of late, as a matter of fact, he has be disciplining it out of me. It hurts like crazy, but I am glad he's doing it because I need a spiritual spanking once-in-a while. It's interesting how God goes about it though. He uses everything he can to get to my heart too...this time he used a motion picture.
It went down like this...the day after Easter, I decided to have an different sort of quiet time. When I realized my heart didn't connect with the cross as deeply as I wanted to, I felt like the spirit put it on my heart to take drastic action...I queued up the 'Passion of the Christ' movie. Yeah, THAT movie. Now look, I wasn't at all excited about watching it. That movie is a tough watch for all disciples. I saw it at the theater when it first came out and I haven't watched it since. It was so heartbreaking the first time, I couldn't imagine going there again. But God moved me to do so and who I am to argue with the Lord? I felt He wanted to go there, so I went with him...
You want to talk about the antidote to selfish/spoiled-ness. The cross is that and then some. It wasn't just the act of Jesus going to the cross but it was the selfless heart he demonstrated that blows me away. You can hear his selfless heart through his last few words. 'Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.' 'Son, here is mother. Mother, her is your son.' Today, you will be with me in paradise'...Even the words 'It is finished' shows his heart for doing for others not himself. He didn't call ten thousand angels to wipe out the Roman thugs. He didn't curse the religious leaders who heckled him as he bled. He didn't lay out a defense argument about why he shouldn't have been the one dying that day. He just let it happen and he did it with out any bitterness...and he did it for me and for you. Alot of hope was deferred when Jesus died. Hopes he had, hopes his disciples had. But in the end, on that resurrection Sunday, longings were fulfilled and a tree of life stood tall and strong! Jesus took a potentially devastating moment in the history of mankind and turn it into the seminal moment of history of the earth. He took a moment that looked to be the end of all things and made all things new. Isn't just like our Lord, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat, turning devastation into glory!
The call for me (and all of us for that matter!) is to let the conviction and the hurt we feel through life's disappointments to spawn repentance where necessary and reliance on God in every aspect. I can't get too down, because the Lord didn't. He finished the race and I have to as well. Yeah, the pain is still there. But the lesson is worth the hurt. I can't let life's disappointments put me in tailspin. I have to continue to walk as Jesus did and continue to live a life worthy of the calling I have received. Jesus understands and sympathizes, but he isn't going to let me mope around too long. None have resisted sin to the point of shedding our blood as the writer of Hebrews so eloquently put it. And when I see his response to pain, it motivates me to get up off the canvas. He gives me the strength to recover. His examples strengthens my legs and helps me to stand tall. He is the reason I am alive and the reason I live. I need to always have a passion for the passion, to always let the most incredible act that has ever been done, drive me to get closer to my God and lay down my life for as many as possible...The passion for the passion is what drives men to leave themselves and to become who God has called them to be. Let's be counted amongst those who left it all for Him. Amen.
Back to Isaiah 53...now 6-12
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression[a] and judgment he was taken away.
Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was punished.[b]
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression[a] and judgment he was taken away.
Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was punished.[b]
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes[c] his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After he has suffered,
he will see the light of life[d] and be satisfied[e];
by his knowledge[f] my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,[g]
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,[h]
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.
and though the LORD makes[c] his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After he has suffered,
he will see the light of life[d] and be satisfied[e];
by his knowledge[f] my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,[g]
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,[h]
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.
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