Sunday, November 28, 2010

'What If....'

When I was young, I loved to read and collect comic books. I loved Marvel comics the most...Wolverine, the X-Men, Spiderman, the Avengers...'nuff said...good stuff! One of my favorite titles was called 'What if...' It was a title that had a character called 'the Watcher' who would narrate a story of what would have happened if a significant event that had occurred in past stories, went a different direction. They were really interesting and thought provoking....well at least as much as a comic book can be anyway! The whole concept of 'What if' has always intrigued me. What if Jesus had never died on the cross? (That is probably the easiest to figure out...we would be toast..). What if JFK had never been assassinated? What if 9/11 was thwarted? What if Don Deckinger had made the right call in the 1985 World Series?...Ok, that last one was a little less earth shattering than the first three...but I think you get my drift. The scenario that has really got me thinking recently is: What if (insert your name here) never became a Christian? Now, you have to take a lot of liberties to come up with some sort of answer to this question, because God works no matter the circumstances and only he really knows (he is the real Watcher), but I think it is worth thinking through if not for an exercise in realizing what impact God has used each disciple to make. Let's give this a try...and see what kind of thoughts it provokes...Come along with me on this little trip through a what if and hopefully it will encourage your faith and help you (as it will me) to remember how closely all of our lives are intertwine. As well I hope to help you remember how amazing our God is for keeping all of our lives moving in such a way as to get us to come to him.

Joe was baptized in late 1990. It was by no means a forgone conclusion that he would become a Christian. As a matter of fact, it was a major miracle that he ever found God in the first place. You see, Joe grew up with very little religion and what he had, came by way of a handful of church visits, a brief stint in a Sunday school class, and a couple of unpleasant family experiences. Joe was approached by a disciple on the campus of a state university and was asked to attend a church service. He was reluctant to attend because, in Joe's mind, Christianity really couldn't hold a candle to sleeping in and the NFL pre-game on Sundays. Against his better judgment and because his guilt had finally gotten the best of him, he attended a church service and was hooked by the kingdom of God from the jump. He studied the bible and two weeks, a broken spirit, many tears, and much repentance later, he became a Christian. Joe was a pretty outgoing guy and he took to campus ministry life pretty quickly. He became a small group leader, studied the bible with several of his friends, and made a significant impact in the church. He took on several roles in the church from kingdom kids extraordinaire to later becoming the lead usher. He was growing quickly and enjoying God's favor and although he had some significant challenges along the way, Joe eventually volunteered for a church planting 'mission team' and moved away from his hometown to go on the adventure of a life time.
Fast forward 20 years later and Joe is married with children and leading a ministry where he his serving God and his church diligently...but what if he had never proclaimed 'Jesus is Lord' and took the plunge of all plunges? What if Joe never became a Christian and just discarded that original invitation to church and dismissed it as another bunch of religious mumbo jumbo? Where would he be? Where would they be?

Today, Joe is married to a Christian woman named Anne whom he met in his old campus ministry. Their love was founded on their relationships with God. Joe and Anne have two kids. Had Joe not become a Christian, no marriage to Anne, and no kids. Anne's life would have been drastically altered and their kids would've never been born.

One person that Joe helped become a Christian was Dave. Dave was a wayward young man, who many thought to be older than he really was. Dave had grown up without his dad playing a prominent role in his life and the kingdom of God was, like it is for all who come to it, his saving grace. Joe studied the bible with Dave and they developed a big brother/ little brother relationship. Dave serves a youth ministry leader and has played roles in campus and single ministries and Dave's mother has become a Christian. If Joe never becomes a Christian, Dave doesn't either. Neither does Dave's mom and neither do any of the kids in Dave's ministry.

Joe works with a man named Bill. Bill and his wife Anita have been married for 45 years. Joe helped Bill become a Christian. Anita followed shortly thereafter. Bill and Anita have three kids who are all older and have families. Bill and Anita have converted all of their kids and their spouses. If Joe never became a Christian, Bill and Anita don't make it and neither do any of their kids or their kids' spouses...in fact, without Bill and Anita becoming Christians, their marriage fails, even after all those years.

This is just part of the story....what would have happened to Joe's life had he not become a Christian? What if Joe decide to pass on Jesus and live for himself. Joe longed to be a part of something so he joined a fraternity. The frat life and party scene was Joe's bag and he gave himself over to it. During the last party of his senior year, Joe met a beautiful girl named Ginger. He pursued Ginger until she caved. They went out for a couple of months before Joe, obsessed with Ginger, popped the question. Joe graduated shortly after his proposal and landed a good job. Ginger quit school to marry Joe and shortly after their honeymoon, Ginger became pregnant and nine months later Joe Jr. was born. Joe was scared of being a father since his relationship with his dad was so dysfunctional. But he kept his fears to himself. On Joe Jr's first birthday, he lost his job. Rather than tell his wife, he was never good at confrontation, he hung out at a local bar and went home everyday at 5pm acting as though he worked a full day. He couldn't tell Ginger, she would get too worried, plus, they weren't close really anyway since the baby was born.

Ginger didn't want much intimacy nowadays. Because of the uncomfortability of being pregnant and the 30 lbs of baby weight, Ginger never wanted to even go there again. Knowing Joe wanted more kids, Ginger had to avoid intimacy at all costs. Without it she surmised there would be no more babies, no more bad body changes, and no more worries. At least so she thought.

During his days of hiding out at the bar, Joe met Missy. Missy was a bar maid, who had been in many relationships, and always got caught up in the wrong situation. Joe dumped out his guilt ridden heart to Missy one day and Missy, wanting to rescue another broken man from utter ruin, invited him over to her place for a meal and some extended talk away from her workplace. One thing lead to another and Joe did what no married ought to do with any woman outside of his wife. Joe returned home that night, more guilt ridden than ever with another secret he couldn't reveal and a conscience that was not only seared but shattered. As the bills came in, multiple checks bounced and another job could not be found, the jig was up. Ginger confronted Joe and Joe spilled the beans...about having no job and about having a one night stand with Missy.  He couldn't hold it any longer. The truth was out and Ginger was crushed.

Joe and Ginger divorced shortly thereafter. Ginger couldn't even stand to be around Joe and she wanted no part of forgiving him. Ginger moved in with her parents and Joe had to go live with his brother, while drawing unemployment. Joe never saw Joe Jr. because he felt too much shame to ever face him and rarely paid his child support. He descended rapidly into depression, alcoholism and became addicted to heroin that his brother constantly stole from a mutual 'friend' who worked at a local hospital. One rainy night, after a party at his brother's house, Joe, drunk and high, got into a fight with his brother and left to take a drive and cool off. It was the last time anyone saw Joe alive. It had rained just enough that night to make the roads slick and Joe was judged to have been driving about 30 mph over the speed limit when he lost control of his car and wrapped it around a telephone pole. Joe suffered massive head injuries and was pronounced dead on the scene by the paramedics who attended him at the crash site...Ginger found out about the accident by watching the local news and through a cascade of tears, tried to explain it all to little 3 year old Joe Jr. Joe Jr. would spend his entire life wondering why his dad never wanted him to see him when he was young and why his dad had become a drug addict and died because of it. Ginger never recovered from the heartache Joe had put her through. She never remarried and she spent most of her life working sub-standard jobs and trying to raise a boy who was in and out of trouble and whom she could never really connect with. Joe Jr. ended up going to prison for felony armed robbery and felony drug possession.  He always claimed he was a product of growing up without a father and frequently blames a broken family for his current situation. It's a true reason, but dismissed as nothing but an excuse. Ginger died of heart failure at the age of 40. She was penniless, and by all accounts was extremely unhappy with everything about her life....

Crazy story huh? What if Joe never became Christian? Look at all that might not have happened and look at all that could have happened? This is all just conjecture and the story was all somewhat fictitious, although I have heard stories similar to this throughout my life. What is the point to all of this? It is really just this simple...Your life of discipleship means something and it has profoundly impacted more people that you have probably ever considered. Think through your life. Apply your story. Examine the what ifs and apply your sinful nature, unchecked, to where you were headed before Jesus. Where would you be without Him? Where would they be without Him? Where would it all be without you making a decision follow Him and to keep following Him no matter how tough it gets? What if I never had decided to follow the Lord??....To be honest, I don't want to know how my story would have turned out, because it is a guarantee it was would not have not have been 'happily ever after'. It is so true that my worst day as a Christian is better than my best day was before I knew Jesus. Please always remember this, your life as a Christian, no matter how hard, has made and will continue to make a difference. Let's resolve to never have to worry about the what ifs but only to concern ourselves with the what will happen as we continue to follow the Lord!

 24 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. 25 And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. 26 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.  ---Acts 17:24-27

Friday, November 26, 2010

"The Battle Within"

Here is a verse I relate to all too much...

Romans 7: 7- 25
The Law and Sin
 7 What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainly not! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.”[b] 8 But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of coveting. For apart from the law, sin was dead. 9 Once I was alive apart from the law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10 I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death. 11 For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12 So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good.  13 Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! Nevertheless, in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it used what is good to bring about my death, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.
 14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
 21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
   So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[d] a slave to the law of sin. 

This battle within wears me out. It makes me tired and it just flat out makes me sick to my stomach. My sin seems to always be right there with me and my sinful nature seems to be so much bigger than it should be. I am reminded of an old axiom, about the two dogs. Both are hungry, but there is only one meal to be divided between the two of them. The one who consistently gets the lions share gets bigger and the other smaller....the story is often used to remind us to 'feed the big dog' and not the small one...the big dog should be our spiritual side and the little dog should be our sinful nature. We feed the big dog by prayer, bible study, etc. and we starve the little dog by confession, repentance, etc....Great in theory, but why is it so hard? Why do I have so much pity on the little dog? Not really, but it sure looks that way. And sometimes it feels that way as well. It seems like no matter how much I want to do good, evil is right there. I am so glad the above scripture is in the bible, but it helps me to see how much Paul related to our struggle. Sure he was a super apostle and sure he the greatest proclaimer of the gospel this side of Jesus, but he struggled with sin. And I guess that is the rub....struggle. To struggle, the dictionary says is to contend with an adversary or opposing force; to contend resolutely with a task, problem, etc.; strive: to struggle for existence; to advance with violent effort; to struggle through the snow.

I love this! For years, the term 'struggling with sin' has had negative connotations but really, in view of the definition of struggle, shouldn't we all be struggling with sin?!? To advance with violent effort...that is what I have to do! So what is the reality in all of this....if you see the struggle and you are aware of it, engaged in it, and are fighting to do the 'good you know you ought to do', then that is half the battle. The other half is embracing the One who will bring us victory...'Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!' How great is that! One of the ongoing jokes in our church is that the answer that the kids in our church give to every spiritual question is 'Jesus!'...It this case the answer is 'Jesus'!
He is the warrior that goes before us in our battle. He is the muscle bound guy with the big claymore, mounted on the white steed, face covered in war paint, charging ahead to clash with Satan and his demons at the battle line for our soul...I am so glad he is on my side!!!

How do I get out of this funk...how do I win this struggle against the foe of sin that has haunted and bullied me from the age of accountability??? I must grab on to the robe of the almighty... 

13 The LORD will march out like a champion, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cry and will triumph over his enemies. - Isaiah 42:13

As the old song says...hold to God's unchanging hand...